whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
