I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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