By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
