My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
