I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
