wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
