I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
