We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
