i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
