My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize