wat bout pragnant strippers??
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
