What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
