Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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