shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
