as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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