remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
