yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
