2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think i have herpe
just one?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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