Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
