Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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