I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
