Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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