Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize