when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
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