does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
