I have demons in me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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