Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
wat bout pragnant strippers??
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
