Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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