Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
