I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
