Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
