I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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