I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
