Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
