the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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