It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
