Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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