I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
