so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
