8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
