please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
