Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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