i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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