They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
