After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
