I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize