sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
