hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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