i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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