did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
