we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
