So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize