I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
