I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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