Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize