why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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