While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
